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Understanding Patriarchy by bell hooks
by bell hooks fan Sunday, Jul. 25, 2004 at 11:27 AM

Chapter two of "The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity and Love" by bell hooks

Patriarchy is the single most life-threatening social dis­ease assaulting the male body and spirit in our nation. Yet most men do not use the word "patriarchy" in everyday life. Most men never think about patriarchy-what it means, how it is created and sustained. Many men in our nation would not be able to spell the word or pronounce it correctly. The word "patriarchy" just is not a part of their normal everyday thought or speech. Men who have heard and know the word usually associate it with women's liber­ation, with feminism, and therefore dismiss it as irrelevant to their own experiences. I have been standing at podiums talking about patriarchy for more than thirty years. It is a word I use daily, and men who hear me use it often ask me what I mean by it.

Nothing discounts the old antifeminist projection of men as all-powerful more than their basic ignorance of a major facet of the political system that shapes and informs male identity and sense of self from birth until death. I often use the phrase "imperialist white-supremacist capi­talist patriarchy" to describe the interlocking political sys­tems that are the foundation of our nation's politics. Of these systems the one that we all learn the most about growing up is the system of patriarchy, even if we never know the word, because patriarchal gender roles -are assigned to us as children and we are given continual guid­ance about the ways we can best fulfill these roles.

Patriarchy is a political-social system that insists that males are inherently dominating, superior to everything and everyone deemed weak, especially females, and endowed with the right to dominate and rule over the weak and to maintain that dominance through various forms of psychological terrorism and violence. When my older brother and I were born with a year separating us in age, patriarchy determined how we would each be regarded by our parents. Both our parents believed in patriarchy; they had been taught patriarchal thinking through religion.

At church they had learned that God created man to rule the world and everything in it and that it was the work of women to help men perform these tasks, to obey, and to always assume a subordinate role in relation to a powerful man. They were taught that God was male. These teachings were reinforced in every institution they encountered--­schools, courthouses, clubs, sports arenas, as well as churches. Embracing patriarchal thinking, like everyone else around them, they taught it to their children because it seemed like a "natural" way to organize life.

As their daughter I was taught that it was my role to serve, to be weak, to be free from the burden of thinking, to caretake and nurture others. My brother was taught that it was his role to be served; to provide; to be strong; to think, strategize, and plan; and to refuse to caretake or nurture others. I was taught that it was not proper for a female to be violent, that it was "unnatural." My brother was taught hat his value would be determined by his will to do violence (albeit in appropriate settings). He was taught that for a boy, enjoying violence was a good thing (albeit in appropriate settings). He was taught that a boy should not express feelings. I was taught that girls could and should express feelings, or at least some of them. When I responded with rage at being denied a toy, I was taught as a girl in a patriarchal household that rage was not an appropriate feminine feeling, that it should be not only not be expressed but be eradicated. When my brother responded with rage at being denied a toy, he was taught as a boy in a patriar­chal household that his ability to express rage was good but that he had to learn the best setting to unleash his hos­tility. It was not good for him to use his rage to oppose the wishes of his parents, but later, when he grew up, he was taught that rage was permitted and that allowing rage to provoke him to violence would help him protect home and nation.

We lived in farm country, isolated from other people. Our sense of gender roles was learned from our parents, from the ways we saw them behave. My brother and I remember our confusion about gender. In reality I was stronger and more violent than my brother, which we learned quickly was bad. And he was a gentle, peaceful boy, which we learned was really bad. Although we were often confused, we knew one fact for certain: we could not be and act the way we wanted to, doing what we felt like. It was clear to us that our behavior had to follow a predetermined, gendered script. We both learned the word "patriarchy" in our adult life, when we learned that the script that had determined what we should be, the identities we should make, was based on patriarchal values and beliefs about gender.

I was always more interested in challenging patriarchy than my brother was because it was the system that was always leaving me out of things that I wanted to be part of. In our family life of the fifties, marbles were a boy's game. My brother had inherited his marbles from men in the fam­ily; he had a tin box to keep them in. All sizes and shapes, marvelously colored, they were to my eye the most beauti­ful objects. We played together with them, often with me aggressively clinging to the marble I liked best, refusing to share. When Dad was at work, our stay-at-home mom was quite content to see us playing marbles together. Yet Dad,, looking at our play from a patriarchal perspective, was dis­turbed by what he saw. His daughter, aggressive and com­petitive, was a better player than his son. His son was pas­sive; the boy did not really seem to care who won and was willing to give over marbles on demand. Dad decided that this play had to end, that both my brother and I needed to learn a lesson about appropriate gender roles.

One evening my brother was given permission by Dad to bring out the tin of marbles. I announced my desire to play and was told by my brother that "girls did not play with marbles," that it was a boy's game. This made no sense to my four- or five-year-old mind, and I insisted on my right to play by picking up marbles and shooting them. Dad inter­vened to tell me to stop. I did not listen. His voice grew louder and louder. Then suddenly he snatched me up, broke a board from our screen door, and began to beat me with it, telling me, "You're just a little girl. When I tell you to do something, I mean for you to do it." He beat me and he beat me, wanting me to acknowledge that I understood what I had done. His rage, his violence captured everyone's attention. Our family sat spellbound, rapt before the porn­ography of patriarchal violence. After this beating I was banished-forced to stay alone in the dark. Mama came into the bedroom to soothe the pain, telling me in her soft southern voice, "I tried to warn you. You need to accept that you are just a little girl and girls can't do what boys do." In service to patriarchy her task was to reinforce that Dad had done the right thing by, putting me in my place, by restor­ing the natural social order.

I remember this traumatic event so well because it was a story told again and again within our family. No one cared that the constant retelling might trigger post-traumatic stress; the retelling was necessary to reinforce both the mes­sage and the remembered state of absolute powerlessness. The recollection of this brutal whipping of a little-girl daughter by a big strong man, served as more than just a reminder to me' of my gendered place, it was a reminder to everyone watching/remembering, to all my siblings, male and female, and to our grown-woman mother that our patriarchal father was the ruler in our household. We were to remember that if we did not obey his rules, we would be punished, punished even unto death. This is the way we were experientially schooled in the art of patriarchy.

There is nothing unique or even exceptional about this experience. Listen to the voices of wounded grown children raised in patriarchal homes and you will hear different ver­sions with the same underlying theme, the use of violence to reinforce our indoctrination and acceptance of patri­archy. In How Can I Get Through to You? family therapist Terrence Real tells how his sons were initiated into patriar­chal thinking even as their parents worked to create a lov­ing home in which antipatriarchal values prevailed. He tells of how his young son Alexander enjoyed dressing as Barbie until boys playing with his older brother witnessed his Barbie persona and let him know by their gaze and their shocked, disapproving silence that his behavior was unacceptable:

 

Without a shred of malevolence, the stare my son received transmitted a message. You are not to do this. And the medium that message was broadcast in was a potent emotion: shame. At three, Alexander was learning the rules. A ten ­second wordless transaction was powerful enough to dissuade my son from that instant forward from what had been a favorite activity. I call such moments of induction the "normal traumatization" of boys.

 

To indoctrinate boys into the rules of patriarchy, we force them to feel pain and to deny their feelings.

My stories took place in the fifties; the stories Real tells are recent. They all underscore the tyranny of patriarchal thinking, the power of patriarchal culture to hold us cap­tive. Real is one of the most enlightened thinkers on the subject of patriarchal masculinity in our nation, and yet he lets readers know that he is not able to keep his boys out of patriarchy's reach. They suffer its assaults, as do all boys and girls, to a greater or lesser degree. No doubt by creating a loving home that is not patriarchal, Real at least offers his boys a choice: they can choose to be themselves or they can choose conformity with patriarchal roles. Real uses the phrase "psychological patriarchy" to describe the patriar­chal thinking common to females and males. Despite the contemporary visionary feminist thinking that makes clear that a patriarchal thinker need not be a male, most folks continue to see men as the problem of patriarchy. This is simply not the case. Women can be as wedded to patriar­chal thinking and action as men.

Psychotherapist John Bradshaw's clear-sighted defini­tion of patriarchy in Creating Love is a useful one: "The dic­tionary defines `patriarchy' as a 'social organization marked by the supremacy of the father in the clan or family in both domestic and religious functions.. . Patriarchy is charac­terized by male domination and power. He states further that "patriarchal rules still govern most of the world's religious, school systems, and family systems." Describing the most damaging of these rules, Bradshaw lists "blind obedience-the foundation upon which patriarchy stands; the repression of all emotions except fear; the destruction of individual willpower; and the repression of thinking whenever it departs from the authority figure's way of thinking." Patriarchal thinking shapes the values of our culture. We are socialized into this system, females as well as males. Most of us learned patriarchal attitudes in our family of origin, and they were usually taught to us by our mothers. These attitudes were reinforced in schools and religious institutions.

The contemporary presence of female-headed house­holds has led many people to assume that children in these households are not learning patriarchal values because no male is present. They assume that men are the sole teachers of patriarchal thinking. Yet many female-headed households endorse and promote patriarchal thinking with far greater passion than two-parent households. Because they do not have an experiential reality to chal­lenge false fantasies of gender roles, women in such house­holds are far more likely to idealize the patriarchal male role and patriarchal men than are women who live with patriarchal men every day. We need to highlight the role women play in perpetuating and sustaining patriarchal culture so that we will recognize patriarchy as a system women and men support equally, even if men receive more rewards from that system. Dismantling and changing patriarchal culture is work that men and women must do together.

Clearly we cannot dismantle a system as long as we engage in collective denial about its impact on our lives. Patriarchy requires male dominance by any means neces­sary, hence it supports, promotes, and condones sexist vio­lence. We hear the most about sexist violence in public dis­courses about rape and abuse by domestic partners. But the most common forms of patriarchal violence are those that take place in the home between patriarchal parents and children. The point of such violence is usually to reinforce a dominator model, in which the authority figure is deemed ruler over those without power and given the right to maintain that rule through practices of subjugation, subordination, and submission.

Keeping males and females from telling the truth about what happens to them in families is one way patriarchal culture is maintained. A great majority of individuals enforce an unspoken rule in the culture as a whole that demands we keep the secrets of patriarchy, thereby protect­ing the rule of the father. This rule of silence is upheld when the culture refuses everyone easy access even to the word "patriarchy." Most children do not learn what to call this system of institutionalized gender roles, so rarely do we name it in everyday speech. This silence promotes denial. And how can we organize to challenge and change a system that cannot be named?

It is no accident that feminists began to use the word "patriarchy" to replace the more commonly used "male chauvanism" and "sexism." These courageous voices wanted men and women to become more aware of the way patri­archy affects us all. In popular culture the word itself was hardly used during the heyday of contemporary feminism. Antimale activists were no more eager than their sexist male counterparts to emphasize the system of patriarchy and the way it works. For to do so would have automatically exposed the notion that men were all-powerful and women power­less, that all men were oppressive and women always and only victims. By placing the blame for the perpetuation of sexism solely on men, these women could maintain their own allegiance to patriarchy, their own lust for power. They masked their longing to be dominators by taking on the mantle of victimhood.

Like many visionary radical feminists I challenged the misguided notion, put forward by women who were simply fed up with male exploitation and oppression, that men were "the enemy." As early as 1984 I included a chapter with the title "Men: Comrades in Struggle" in my book Feminist Theory: From Margin to Center urging advocates of feminist politics to challenge any rhetoric which placed the sole blame for perpetuating patriarchy and male domination onto men:

Separatist ideology encourages women to ignore the negative impact of sexism on male personhood. It stresses polarization between the sexes. According to Joy justice, separatists believe that there are "two basic perspectives" on the issue of naming the victims of sexism: "There is the perspective that men oppress women. And there is the perspective that people are people, and we are all hurt by rigid sex roles." . . . Both perspectives accurately describe our predica­ment. Men do oppress women. People are hurt by rigid sexist role patterns, These two realities coexist. Male oppression of women cannot be excused by the recognition that there are ways men are hurt by rigid sexist roles. Feminist activists should acknowledge that hurt, and work to change it-it exists. It does not erase or lessen male responsibility for supporting and perpetu­ating their power under patriarchy to exploit and oppress women in a manner far more grievous than the serious psychological stress and emo­tional pain caused by male conformity to rigid sexist role patterns.

 

Throughout this essay I stressed that feminist advocates collude in the pain of men wounded by patriarchy when they falsely represent men as always and only powerful, as always and only gaining privileges from their blind obedi­ence to patriarchy. I emphasized that patriarchal ideology brainwashes men to believe that their domination of women is beneficial when it is not:

 

Often feminist activists affirm this logic when we should be constantly naming these acts as expressions of perverted power relations, general lack of control of one's actions, emotional pow­erlessness, extreme irrationality, and in many cases, outright insanity. Passive male absorption of sexist ideology enables men to falsely inter­pret this disturbed behavior positively. As long as men are brainwashed to equate violent domi­nation and abuse of women with privilege, they will have no understanding of the damage done to themselves or to others, and no motivation to change.

 

Patriarchy demands of men that they become and remain emotional cripples. Since it is a system that denies men full access to their freedom of will, it is difficult for any man of any class to rebel against patriarchy, to be disloyal to the patriarchal parent, be that parent female or male.

The man who has been my primary bond for more than twelve years was traumatized by the patriarchal dynamics in his family of origin. When I met him he was in his twen­ties. While his formative years had been spent in the com­pany of a violent, alcoholic dad, his circumstances changed when he was twelve and he began to live alone with his mother. In the early years of our relationship he talked openly about his hostility and rage toward his abusing dad. He was not interested in forgiving him or understanding the circumstances that had shaped and influenced his dad's life, either in his childhood or in his working life as a military man.

In the early years of our relationship he was extremely critical of male domination of women and children. Although he did not use the word "patriarchy," he under­stood its meaning and he opposed it. His gentle, quiet man­ner often led folks to ignore him, counting him among the weak and the powerless. By the age of thirty he began to assume a more macho persona, embracing the dominator model that he had once critiqued. Donning the mantle of patriarch, he gained greater respect and visibility. More women were drawn to him. He was noticed more in public spheres. His criticism of male domination ceased. And indeed he begin to mouth patriarchal rhetoric, saying the kind of sexist stuff that would have appalled him in the past.

These changes in his thinking and behavior were trig­gered by his desire to be accepted and affirmed in a patriar­chal workplace and rationalized by his desire to get ahead. His story is not unusual. Boys brutalized and victimized by patriarchy more often than not become patriarchal, embodying the abusive patriarchal masculinity that they once clearly recognized as evil. Few men brutally abused as boys in the name of patriarchal maleness courageously resist the brainwashing and remain true to themselves. Most males conform to patriarchy in one way or another.

Indeed, radical feminist critique of patriarchy has practi­cally been silenced in our culture. It has become a subcultural discourse available only to well-educated elites. Even in those circles, using the word "patriarchy" is regarded as passe. Often in my lectures when I use the phrase "imperial­ist white-supremacist capitalist patriarchy" to describe our nation's political system, audiences laugh. No one has ever explained why accurately naming this system is funny. The laughter is itself a weapon of patriarchal terrorism. It func­tions as a disclaimer, discounting the significance of what is being named. It suggests that the words themselves are problematic and not the system they describe. I interpret this laughter as the audience's way of showing discomfort with being asked to ally themselves with an antipatriarchal disobedient critique. This laughter reminds me that if I dare to challenge patriarchy openly, I risk not being taken seriously.

Citizens in this nation fear challenging patriarchy even as they lack overt awareness that they are fearful, so deeply embedded in our collective unconscious are the rules of patriarchy. I often tell audiences that if we were to go door-­to-door asking if we should end male violence against women, most people would give their unequivocal sup­port. Then if you told them we can only stop male violence against women by ending male domination, by eradicating patriarchy, they would begin to hesitate, to change their position. Despite the many gains of contemporary femi­nist movement-greater equality for women in the work­force, more tolerance for the relinquishing of rigid gender roles-patriarchy as a system remains intact, and many people continue to believe that it is needed if humans are to survive as a species. This belief seems ironic, given that patriarchal methods of organizing nations, especially the insistence on violence as a means of social control, has actually led to the slaughter of millions of people on the planet.

Until we can collectively acknowledge the damage patri­archy causes and the suffering it creates, we cannot address male pain. We cannot demand for men the right to be whole, to be givers and sustainers of life. Obviously some patriarchal men are reliable and even benevolent caretakers and providers, but still they are imprisoned by a system that undermines their mental health.

Patriarchy promotes insanity. It is at the root of the psy­chological ills troubling men in our nation. Nevertheless there is no mass concern for the plight of men. In Stiffed: The Betrayal of the American Man, Susan Faludi includes very little discussion of patriarchy:

 

Ask feminists to diagnose men's problems and you will often get a very clear explanation: men are in crisis because women are properly challenging male dominance. Women are ask­ing men to share the public reins and men can't bear it. Ask antifeminists and you will get a diag­nosis that is, in one respect, similar., Men are troubled, many conservative pundits say, because women have gone far beyond their demands for equal treatment and are now trying to take power and control away from men.... The underlying message: men cannot be men, only eunuchs, if they are not in control. Both the feminist and antifeminist views are rooted in a peculiarly modern American perception that to be a man means to be at the controls and at all times to feel yourself in control.

Faludi never interrogates the notion of control. She never considers that the notion that men were somehow in con­trol, in power, and satisfied with their lives before contem­porary feminist movement is false.

Patriarchy as a system has denied males access to full emotional well-being, which is not the same as feeling rewarded, successful, or powerful because of one's capacity to assert control over others. To truly address male pain and male crisis we must as a nation be willing to expose the harsh reality that patriarchy has damaged men in the past and continues to damage them in the present. If patriarchy were truly rewarding to men, the violence and addiction in family life that is so all-pervasive would not exist. This vio­lence was not created by feminism. If patriarchy were rewarding, the overwhelming dissatisfaction most men feel in their work lives-a dissatisfaction extensively docu­mented in the work of Studs Terkel and echoed in Faludi's treatise-would not exist.

In many ways Stiffed was yet another betrayal of American men because Faludi spends so much time trying not to challenge patriarchy that she fails to highlight the necessity 'of ending patriarchy if we are to liberate men. Rather she writes:

 

Instead of wondering why men resist women's struggle for a freer and healthier life, I began to wonder why men refrain from engaging in their own struggle. Why, despite a crescendo of random tantrums, have they offered no methodical, reasoned response to their predicament: Given the untenable and insulting nature of the demands placed on men to prove themselves in our culture, why don't men revolt? . . . Why haven't men responded to the series of betrayals in their own lives-to the failures of their fathers to make good on their promises-with some­thing coequal to feminism?

 

Note that Faludi does not dare risk either the ire of feminist females by suggesting that men can find salvation in femi­nist movement or rejection by potential male readers who are solidly antifeminist by suggesting that they have some­thing to gain from engaging feminism.

So far in our nation visionary feminist movement is the only struggle for justice that emphasizes the need to end patriarchy. No mass body of women has challenged patri­archy and neither has any group of men come together to lead the struggle. The crisis facing men is not the crisis of masculinity, it is the crisis of patriarchal masculinity. Until we make this distinction clear, men will continue to fear that any critique of patriarchy represents a threat. Distinguishing political patriarchy, which he sees as largely committed to ending sexism, therapist Terrence Real makes clear that the patriarchy damaging us all is embed­ded in our psyches:

 

Psychological patriarchy is the dynamic between those qualities deemed "masculine" and "feminine" in which half of our human­ traits are exalted while the other half is deval­ued. Both men and women participate in this tortured value system. Psychological patriarchy is a "dance of contempt," a perverse form of con­nection that replaces true intimacy with com­plex, covert layers of dominance and submission, collusion and manipulation. It is the unac­knowledged paradigm of relationships that has suffused Western civilization generation after generation, deforming both sexes, and destroy­ing the passionate bond between them.

 

By highlighting psychological patriarchy, we see that every­one is implicated and we are freed from the misperception that men are the enemy. To end patriarchy we must chal­lenge both its psychological and its concrete manifesta­tions in daily life. There are folks who are able to critique patriarchy but unable to act in an antipatriarchal manner.

To end male pain, to respond effectively to male crisis, we have to name the problem. We have to both acknowl­edge that the problem is patriarchy and work to end patri­archy. Terrence Real offers this valuable insight: "The recla­mation of wholeness is a process even more fraught for men than it has been for women, more difficult and more profoundly threatening to the culture at large." If men are to reclaim the essential goodness of male being, if they are to regain the space of openheartedness and emotional expressiveness that is the foundation of well-being, we must envision alternatives to patriarchal masculinity. We must all change.

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well I liked it
by John Salisbury Sunday, Jul. 31, 2005 at 5:21 PM

I for one appreciate the extra effort taken to call it "Imperialist White-Supremacist Capitalist Patriarchy," and I thank you for acknowledging, anecdotally, what many men in my generation have had to wrestle with, that both men and women perpetuate Patriarchy when to be taken seriously (by either) you must embrace it, there's a real payoff if you do, and (usually) none if you don't--

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The will to Change: Men, Masculinity and Love
by Bell Hooks Wednesday, Mar. 01, 2006 at 5:25 PM
bella.hovanesian@wamu.com 818-246-3619 409 porter st apt 6 glendale, ca 91205

This article is very usefull and importent both female and male. The author is talking maily about patriarchy. She is doing good job of explaining patriarchy useing exaple from her own life. Basically she is telling us that patriarcy is a social system in which men is the one who holds the power. It is thought to us by our parents and it is predetermined for us to follow. She belives that patriarchy limits both males and females rights.

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Finally
by Crystal Gruetzmacher Sunday, Sep. 10, 2006 at 3:33 AM
crystal@gruetzmacher.name

This article should be required reading for all those with enough reading comprehension skills to understand it. This article hits on some truths that I think we already know but cannot articulate. I, myself, have always felt that many of the "evils" we face, from sexism to racism, are promoted through our own acceptance of them. I think we are making great strides in the area of racism -- but we still have a long way to go. On the sexism, patriarchal thinking, we have barely scratched the surface. Even Aristotle belived that women's souls were inferior to those of men. Saint Paul preached that male authority was divinly ordered, thus if you were not subservient you were not a good Catholic. This has been a part of our social structure since before Jesus.

We used to stop my little brother from crying by telling him that "boys don't cry." My father refuses to this day to teach me to change a flat tire or check my oil. "That's what you have brothers for," he says. I have seven of them, not one lives near me or has ever helped me change a flat tire.

On the other hand, I don't seek equality. Rather, I think that there is something to be celebrated in women as a life-giving force. I don't think the sexes are equal. There is something strangely comforting in a man's embrace and in his show of concern for me. I like that my boyfriend walks me to my door and waits for me to lock it before he leaves. I like that he goes out of his way to make sure I am safe and protected. So I, for one, stand up to say that I am not just a person, I am a woman.

Last year, in my English class, we read a short article written by a man about the birden of being a man and being expected to be macho. We read another one written by a woman about the health risks of being a man - her father refused to go to the doctor and her husband pent up his emotions and developed stomach ulcers. My boyfriend of ten years expresses mostly anger, to get him to express anything else is pulling teeth. Men's suffering is definite but for most to admit that is limited by their fear of being seen as weak. After all, other men deal with it so they must. In addition to being stronger than women, men must compete with each other. The weaker man, they fear, will be passed up by women in favor of a stronger man. The object, then, is to be the *strongest* man. Strength, for men, is not only physical but emotional and financial. I am troubled by the unneeded pressure this causes, but also by the danger of removing it.

We are beginning to see the fruits of male enlightenment. Whereas men used ot step up to the plate to marry and support their families, they now fear committment and often abandon their marriages and families. More men than ever have families with more than one woman. The phrase "deadbeat dad" didn't always exist. Unmarried men in their thirties used to be unheard of. More and more women now financially support their boyfriends or husbands. What caused this change? Why do we accept this? Keep in mind, we have barely scratched the surface in our quest to defy patriarchal thinking.

I don't have the answer and while I am not wed to the idea that men are inherently the dominant sex, I don't think women are. As I stated earlier, I don't think we are equal. There are reasons to celebrate men as well as women, but given the human need for hierarchy I am not sure it's likely we will ever do both without ranking one above the other.

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Patriarchy
by Lusine Babakhanyan Tuesday, Sep. 12, 2006 at 3:25 PM

Before when i was reading "Sisters of the Yam", and when i approached to the word Patriarchy i had no idea what it mean. I was confused and thought that the book is going to be useless to read. After when i had the chance to read this article, it seemed much clear to me. I really enjoyed reading it because it talks about patriacrhy which men control woman. Understanding patriarchy which explains the reason that woman must fight so hard to defeat man.

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Very well written
by Israel Can Tuesday, Sep. 12, 2006 at 9:20 PM
swvampire@sbcglobal.net

I thought the article was very well written though short in regards to what it is addressing, it manages to get one very important point across tha "patiriarchy" is not a gender issue but a sociel one. Also that there is no middle ground, and if we are to change what is the establised "norm" we are in for a long and arduos journey.

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matriarchy
by matriarch Tuesday, Sep. 12, 2006 at 10:52 PM

matriarchy...
, image/png, x

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.

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Understanding Patriarchy
by Bell Hooks Tuesday, Sep. 12, 2006 at 11:06 PM

This comment has been removed per the author's request.

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Understanding Patriarchy
by Bell Hooks Tuesday, Sep. 12, 2006 at 11:08 PM

This comment has been removed per the author's request.

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Understanding Patriarchy
by bell hooks Wednesday, Sep. 13, 2006 at 9:13 AM
martacoros12@yahoo.com

i agree with Bell because i experience everything that she talks about from my mother and grandmothers telling me how to behave and how to talk to a man to aunts telling me that a would get hit by my husbend because i am to liberal or i will never marry because no man would like to be with someone who doesn't know how to cook or iron guess again their were wrong i found somebody that loves cooking an irons perfectly funny ah?. on the other hand my whole family critisize my father because he is a patient man very calm and shy to certain extend so he is most of the times the brain but my mom is the mouth so everybody thinks that my dad does as my mom says because she is the one that is always speaking out so i have paternal family complaining of how whip my dad.He doesn't really cares because he realizes that is my mom who ends up with him every night not all his family but my older brother grew up hearing all those comments and now he is complete different person of how he was raised,now he screams, he demands, he over uses bad language. of course not with my mom but he sure tryes with me.
i think yes is hard for women to be somebody in this type of society but i think is harder for men to realize how bad this made them and try to get out of this and realizes that they can't.

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patriarchy
by rosa loyola Wednesday, Sep. 13, 2006 at 9:28 AM

before reading this article, i never gave patriarchy any concious thought. Everything i saw or heard from men say or did i just accepted because it was right,normal. I do agree that we live in a society that is lead by a male dominated social system. Most peple(everyone)in one way or another conform to patriarchal rules in order to survive or get ahead in life. I belief that there will be no change of this if no one, male or female, doesn't take some type of action and come together t lead the struggle.

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response to bell hooks
by Laura Wednesday, Sep. 13, 2006 at 4:18 PM

i definetly think that patriarchy exsists in our world today and has been for a very long time. when hook's about playing marbles with her brother and that her father would beat her because of it i was amazed. i look at my own home and me and my brother play togehter all the time and my parents have never gotten upset about it. but i do understand the time difference between her life and my life. but even in my family there are some small patriartic events going on. for example me and my sister always do the cleaning, even though my brother is young he can still help around the house but they choose not to ask him. but all in all my family is very united my parents both go to work and provide for the family. my father both cooks and cleans just like my mother. i just think that it was very interesting to find out that they really are the undiscoverd group the all WHITE WEALTHY HETERO MAN rather then the people of color, women, people in poverty. no one ever seems to talk about them. they are left unsaid and in some way people are uncertain wether or not to speak up about any of these types of peolpe, considereing the fact that they are they types of people who run the government and our country.
-laura( my comment is late, but i showed you my doctor note for september 11, 2006)

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response to Understanding Patriarcy
by bianca Friday, Nov. 24, 2006 at 10:48 AM
biancaf420@hotmail.com

Thank you so much! After searching the internet for the effects of psychological patriarchy this was the most informative article I have found. I not only agree with everything Bell Hooks had to say I believe this article should be shared amongst thinking men and women alike. So much focus has been placed on feminism and females in crisis (as it should be) but so little public attention has been focused on men and the psychological pain that has been inflicted on them for centuries by trying to live up to a social norm that is killing them… well done!

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